Friday, November 03, 2017

Religion and Politics

Reasons exist aplenty to oppose the Republican House's newly introduced tax plan, "The Middle Class Here's Your Crumb Rich People, You're Gonna Need a Bigger Yacht Act" of 2017.

Among several other things, it will repeal the Johnson Amendment, which has kept big churches from turning themselves into Super-PACs since 1954.

If this thing passes, mega-churches and charitable organizations will be able to redirect charitable contributions into political attack ads ("Baby-Killer!" "Sodomite!" "Democrat!"). And what a wonderful, Christ-like world it will be, too.

So get ready, fellow pilgrims. If this thing passes, we're starting our own church. Turns out, "It's Surprisingly Easy To Start Your Own Church." We already have at least one ordained minister and will have more. (Getting ordained is also a breeze.)

We're naming the church for someone who truly lifts our spirit, our new puppy, Jake. So it's gonna be The First Church of Jakelation. Congregants will be called "Jake-o-bites" (thank you, EA), and there will be vows and liturgy and maybe even Roman candles. Our first scripture will  be, "Give Us Money and We Will Change the World!" Amen, Sister!

If this country is to become the new playground for high-dollar fundamentalism and glory-seeking egos, we'll play.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The GOP tax plan also allows a fetus to have a tax savings account.

http://www.newsweek.com/fetuses-are-eligible-tax-savings-accounts-under-gops-latest-plan-700532

I'm willing to go to court to argue that each and every one my sperm should have a tax savings account since it goes against my deeply held religious belief that every sperm is sacred.