Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Cookie Caper

If I were Gov. Squishy (bless his heart), I think I would fire the public relations genius who handed me a plate of chocolate chip cookies and told me to go out yesterday afternoon and give them to the women on the sidewalk protesting my decision to sign the bill that limits access to abortion in North Carolina.

And if I were that public relations genius, seeing how Gov. Squishy shoved the plate of cookies into the hands of one of those women and then retreated as quickly as he could, saying repeatedly over his shoulder, "God bless!" "God bless!" "God bless!" the way one might say "Good dog" to a strange pooch that looks like it might bite, I think I'd resign my job in despair.

Because this governor is as inept as any elected official in this wide country, possessed of a tin ear and so obviously afraid of everything and everybody that now confronts him in this horrendously misgoverned and jerked-around, formerly progressive and forward-looking state. He's hopelessly out of control, in over his head, constantly confused, uneducable, scared of the extremists in his own party, and prone to lying in an obvious way when confronted by a question he hadn't anticipated.

Yup. One-term governor, and that's one term too many.

For the record, the women shoved the cookies back under the governor's gate with a note indicating what they thought of a governor who's afraid of an actual conversation and who condescends so theatrically.

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