Monday, November 26, 2012

Texas, My Texas

The Texas state song begins "Texas, Our Texas! all hail the mighty State!" We all learned it in grade school, even in the Panhandle, and as with most state songs, we rarely contemplated the world-view behind the words.

You might be excused for taking that command -- "all hail" -- as just home-state puffery, some fat-gut braggadocio, except there comes the fourth line of the song: "O Empire wide and glorious, you stand supremely blest."

The Roman imperialism at the heart of Texans' view of themselves ain't just atmospherics. It's cultural DNA.

So hardly anyone blinked in Texas when Gov. Rick Perry suggested in 2009 that the state might productively secede from the rest of us, and even though he's now saying that ain't a good idea (which tells you just about everything you need to know about Rick Perry as a politician), I credit the governor with giving oomph to the current rage down there to sign the petition for secession. No other state where that frivolous gesture got started has the numbers of eager "Seceshes" as Texas has.

The song needs editing: "Texas, our Texas. Aw, hell! The mighty state."

Okay now. So Texas goes back to being its own Empire. You know what the United States of America is going to need immediately? A high fence, especially separating the Empire of Texas from New Mexico and approaches to Colorado. Because Texans lose their minds at the sight of running surface water and have been colonizing the Rockies for decades. Gotta stop that.

My friend Butch Morrison speculated on Facebook about those Texans who will wind up in this country through no fault of their own and become productive Americans. They will need a clear path to American citizenship. And what about those Texans who came here to work to provide better lives for their families? Who'll blame them, once the economy in their own country collapses after the cessation of US subsidies for agriculture and oil drilling, among others?

We'll have to get tough on immigration. I'm thinking long-form birth certificates just to visit in our country!

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