Jonathan Jordan Is Now Lying About His Fracking Vote

Intercepted e-mail:

So today we received a postcard from Southern Environmental Law Center asking us to call Jonathan Jordan to express our disappointment with his vote in favor of fracking. 

The number provided was incorrect (it's actually 919-733-772SEVEN), but that's another story. 

Someone appropriately named Hope answered the phone on the very first ring. When I complained about Mr. Jordan's vote for fracking, she asked if I was responding to a card from the Southern Environmental Law Center. "Why, yes," I responded. 

Hope insisted the Law Center was all wrong -- that Mr. Jordan had actually voted in favor of a moratorium on fracking until he could be assured fracking was safe. Well, now, that was a new one on me. I reminded Hope that fracking was already illegal in the state and that moratoria are put in place to stop something that is already occurring. I said, "How on earth could Mr. Jordan have voted for a moratorium on something that was already illegal?" 

That threw Hope for a momentary loop. She said she could see my point. 

So she grabbed her copy of the bill and began to read to me some garbage language about a moratorium. I pointed out that she was reading from a previous draft of the bill that had never passed. I waited while she went and found the copy of the bill that had actually passed, and challenged her to find the word "moratorium." 

She couldn't, but assured me that Mr. Jordan would not approve of fracking unless he was "100% sure the water would be safe." 

I said, "Mr. Jordan voted for the bill, right?" Hope: "yes." Me: "Well, where does it say in the bill that the water must be 100% safe?" 

I waited for Hope to find it. She eventually referred me to a section that said the people could sue if their water was damaged by fracking. I said, "If the water will be safe, then why was a section included in the bill that would allow people to sue if it isn't?" 

Crickets. 

Then... 

Hope: "I am not a lawyer." 

Me: "But Mr. Jordan is, isn't he? So this is all really simple. Did he vote for the bill without reading the final version? Or did he just feed you some b.s. to say when people come calling?" 

In all fairness, Hope was as nice as she could be and stayed with me on the phone for over a half  hour trying to find language to back up Jordan's assertions. Maybe she learned something today, like, her boss is an idiot. And a liar.