Okay, Okay, No More Hanging of Witches

We laughed so hard, we spilled our morning coffee ... but California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger told a German newspaper that he thinks the U.S. Republican Party needs to move "a little to the left," presumably not before amending the U.S. Constitution to allow ex-body builders born in Austria the right to run for president. "A little to the left," we take it, would mean updating the party's puritanical biases from the 1690s to approximately the 1870s.