"Darwin Days" Celebration Feb. 13th

Though Charles Darwin's birthday is February 12th, because that day falls on Sunday, the annual celebration has been moved to Monday, February 13th. Programme follows:

Watauga County's Darwin Days Celebration on February 13th will begin with the annual My Uncle Was A Monkey observance at the flag pole at Watauga High School. In compliance with recent Supreme Court decisions, the gathering will be student-led and completely voluntary. This year's theme will be: "Opposable Thumbs -- How Cool Are They?"

Students are invited to bring pictures of their closest monkey relative to share with the crowd. They are also free to bring the actual relative, but they will be held responsible for the uncle's behaviour. No uncle (or student) will be allowed to throw crap into the crowd or scratch "those places."

Students are reminded that the WHS dress code will be suspended for the Darwin Days Observance, and they are free to wear T-shirts that depict a walking fish and bracelets (already distributed) that say, "I don't know what Jesus would do. I just want to know why He did it."

Following the observance, classes will be suspended so that students may attend the parade. This year's Grand Marshal will be that Intelligent Design Bitch-Slapper Judge John E. Jones who recently decided the Dover School Board case and pointed out to the thinking world that Intelligent Design is neither.

The parade theme will be "Don't Let Them Drag Us Back Into the Ooze." Floats will represent how science and logical thought have bettered the lot of mankind and taken us from caves to the edge of the universe.

Recognizing that there is some descent (pun intended) over the issue of evolution, a free and open debate will be held following the parade. The debate topic: If evolution is real, how long will it take the Christian Right to evolve?

The debate will be administered under Foxx Rules. Each side will have six minutes to comment.

(Guest Blogger: Shyster from Vermont)