Mitt Romney Would Not Make the Olympic Fencing Team

Lords of the Universe: Mitt Romney & pals at Bain Capital, posing with 20-$-bills

So Sen. Harry Reid, who knows a shiv from a butter knife, sez that someone high up at Bain Capital told him that Mitt Romney paid zero taxes for ten years. Trying to parry that thrust, Romney pours into a friendly ear (Sean Hannity) the following: "Well, it’s time for Harry to put up or shut up."

In fencing terms, Mitt Romney, faced with an opponent with a sharp point, turns to face the curtains and punctures his own trial balloon.

With an opening like that, Harry Reid thrusts back:

There is a controversy because the Republican presidential nominee, Governor Mitt Romney, refuses to release his tax returns. As I said before, I was told by an extremely credible source that Romney has not paid taxes for ten years. People who make as much money as Mitt Romney have many tricks at their disposal to avoid paying taxes. We already know that Romney has exploited many of these loopholes, stashing his money in secret, overseas accounts in places like Switzerland and the Cayman Islands. 

Last weekend, Governor Romney promised that he would check his tax returns and let the American people know whether he ever paid a rate lower than 13.9 percent. One day later, his campaign raced to say he had no intention of putting out any further information. 

When it comes to answering the legitimate questions the American people have about whether he avoided paying his fair share in taxes or why he opened a Swiss bank account, Romney has shut up. But as a presidential candidate, it’s his obligation to put up, and release several years’ worth of tax returns just like nominees of both parties have done for decades. 

It’s clear Romney is hiding something, and the American people deserve to know what it is. Whatever Romney’s hiding probably speaks volumes about how he would approach issues that directly impact middle-class families, like tax reform and the economy. When you are running for president, you should be an open book. 

I understand Romney is concerned that many people, Democrats and Republicans, have been calling on him to release his tax returns. He has so far refused. There is only one thing he can do to clear this up, and that’s release his tax returns.

Oh, Mitt, you really are proving yourself the rich twit you've always seemed. We love the smell of frying baloney in the morning.