The Almanac Arrest

BOONE, Dec. 30, 2003 -- Following up on the FBI's suggestion that people with almanacs bear special watching (read the Associated Press story about the secret instructions), Ruby Norris Hayes Miller Greene of Deep Gap was detained in the Boone Lowe's Hardware store today when an alert Lowe's employee spotted an Old Farmer's almanac in Ms. Greene's purse.

Greene was attempting to pay for a tub of drain cleaner, garden fertilizer, two 8-ft. sections of PVC pipe, and wire screening, among other items (which did include apparently several seed packets bearing the stamp "Packed for the 2004 season").

The Lowe's employee, who was not identified by name, reportedly told Sheriff deputies that the purchases were "suspicious on the face of it."

Shortly after being released from custody, Ms. Greene was informed that her suspicious activities were sufficient to trigger the entry of her name on the FBI's "terror watch list," and that federal investigators would be digging deep into her life, looking for any dirt -- her finances, her email traffic, her book-purchasing habits, her library patronage, among other personal information-- and that turning her life upside down was all perfectly legal, according to the Patriot Act, which allows whatever snooping the federal gov thinks it needs, and it doesn't even have to say to any judge why it suspects Ms. Greene in the first place, because what the Justice Department is doing to keep us safe is nobody's goddamn business!

Check it out. And be afraid. Be very, very afraid.