When Being a Baptist Preacher Ain't Enough!

Dazzled as you no doubt are by the congressional biscuit-stealing of Virginia Foxx, you may be forgiven for paying insufficient attention to the performance of Congressman Mark Walker in the NC Sixth Congressional District.

Mark Walker

Walker defeated The Anointed "company" candidate, Phil Berger Junior, in the Republican primary of 2014, an upset about which Phil Berger Junior has not stopped sobbing since May of 2014. Phil Berger Junior is The Anointed Son of Phil Berger Senior, the Czar of all the Carolinas and the man who can make Governor Squishy jump and who used to regularly mug Thom Tillis too before Tillis became big for his britches and took a seat in the U.S. Senate (he was lame, anyway, as Speaker of the NC House and let Berger in the NC Senate make all the decisions that counted).

Anyhoo, Mark Walker is a Baptist preacher, so the hand of God, obviously, can be blamed credited for his apotheosis. Anyone who gets to sit near Virginia Foxx has made it to the gravy!

The hand of God, as it turns out, evidently had a sprained wrist on the day Walker won, because Baptist preacher or no, Walker has been weighed in the scales and found wanting as a conservative in the U.S. House, mainly because he went along with the crowd and voted for that flaming liberal John Boehner as Speaker, a sin for which Walker must now be forced to burn in the hell of another Republican primary.

A Republican conservative who's more conservative than "conservative" named Kenn Kopf, who evidently drinks acid for breakfast and doesn't even belch, has announced that he is here to kick Preacher Walker out of his job, because Walker was sent to Congress to "change the leadership" and "stop the president’s attack on our people and the Constitution," and has he even done any of that? In a word … no!

What a miserable failure! Kopf said those words about Walker, mind you, only after Boehner dissolved in a resignation puddle and ran down the marble steps of the Capitol, never to be seen again, but Preacher Walker is still going to have to pay for his Original Sin. It's the natural law of conservatives: no one is ever forgiven, unless you're a Duggar.

Not one Original Sin (Boehner!) but two, and the worst one, probably, was allowing the Kenyan Muslim President to confiscate every gun and put conservatives into reeducation camps and force Christians to gay-marry all over the place.