Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Automatic Writing of Congresswoman Foxx

Representative Virginia Foxx (R-NC) responded to President Obama's State of the Union Address:

What She Said
“For the past seven years, President Obama has given us 47,625 words of meaningless promises."

What She Meant
Yes, I counted, bitches! That's 6,803 and 1/2 words per annum (Latin, yo!), which proves that O'Bummer doesn't love America.

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What She Said
“President Obama has never adequately focused on what really matters in this country – keeping America safe and defending our cherished freedoms."

What She Meant
If he weren't Kenyan, then ... well, you know!

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What She Said
"Instead he wants to maintain the status quo and continues to promote top-down, one-size-fits-all federal dictates that stymie economic growth."

What She Meant
Get off my elevator, you mutt!

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What She Said
"It’s clear he doesn’t understand the solutions that will get our nation back on track begin with the American people, not Washington bureaucrats."

What She Meant
Bashing Washington bureaucrats -- fun times! -- just really really really hope they never go away.

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What She Said
“President Obama promised hope and change, but his failed agenda has brought the wrong kind of change and many North Carolinians are losing hope."

What She Meant
Did you see what I did there? I took "hope and change" and twisted it just a wee bit -- like a cat's tail -- and see what I made it do! Am I not the greatest goddamn word smith you yokels ever saw?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What She Said:
"It’s clear he doesn’t understand the solutions that will get our nation back on track begin with the American people, not Washington bureaucrats."

What She Meant:
"He's been getting our nation back on track, but if I close my eyes REEEEEAL tight, I can say he hasn't and pretend he's as blind to things outside the Beltway as I am."