Scenic Drinking

Word's out that leaders in the Republican Party have fingered Deborah Greene as the culprit who hung flyers on mailboxes in the Beaver Dam precinct, to advertize a Republican Party event at the Beaver Dam Fire Department next Thursday. The U.S. Postal Service says it's strictly a no-no to circumvent postage and use people's mailboxes to advertize your partisan event by stuffing them full of xeroxed flyers. In fact, it's a federal offense (not to put too fine a point on it).

Several local Beaver Dam residents, apparently, were offended enough to call authorities.

The local Democratic Party has so far declined to file formal charges, though the local P.O. has been informed. And is not amused.

Not only did Ms. Greene advertize an event that is meant to benefit Joe Phillips, Republican candidate for County Commission, but she apparently bragged that the "truth about the scenic byway" would come out as well, right there in front of everyone at the Beaver Dam community center. The truth? Well, now, Honey! Haven't you heard? The "Doc $ Merle Watson Scenic Byway" is actually a secret and really, really sneaky way to get liquor-by-the-drink into Watauga County. Why, yes!

As a matter of fact, apparently, Yours Truly is supposedly on the verge of opening a girlie bar and topless all-you-can-zone Den of Inquity right here in River City.

But apparently no one has thought to ask, "Are there actually requests to sell liquor-by-the-drink in Watauga County on file with the state ABC Board?" "Is there in fact any way on God's green earth that a person, even a nefarious D.E.M.O.C.R.A.T., could actually even ask for a license to sell booze on any current, or for that matter future road in Watauga County?" "Or is this a paranoid fantasy by a person given to that habit of mind, as a way to find a rallying cry for her sorry set of incumbents?"

We're opting for the latter explanation.