Join the Wal-Mart Boycott

Wal-Mart, the George W. Bush of preemptive retailers, has become concerned that its "image" has suffered because of poor pay, raptor-like business practices, the routine mistreatment of women employees, and such nice behavior as locking illegal immigrant cleaning crews inside their mammoth "boxes" over night. So Wal-Mart, facing "a series of lawsuits, including a sex discrimination suit involving up to 1.6 million women that could be the biggest civil rights class action against a US private employer," has decided on a Bush-like public relations offensive to improve its image.

Too late. We stopped shopping there -- cold turkey! -- months ago. We only hyperventilate infrequently now.