The End of Civilization As We Knew It

Well, the U.S. Senate has delivered the United States of America, evidently, into the flaming hands of Satan by voting down a constitutional amendment that would have made discrimination against gays the law of the land. The vote was actually on a motion of end debate (cloture), with 50 Satan-lovin' senators voting NOT to end debate, to 48 Satan-hatin' senators who voted for cloture. It would have taken 60 Satan-hating senators to pass the amendment, but NO-O-O-O! Too many of 'em obviously ADORE Satan!

Six Republican senators joined most of the Democrats as official Satan-lovers. They were: Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado, Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island, Susan Collins of Maine, John McCain of Arizona, Olympia Snowe of Maine, and John Sununu of New Hampshire (bit of a shock, that!) Independent senator Jeffords of Vermont joined this group.

Democrats who resisted Satan valiantly and voted with the right-wing Republicans: Robert Byrd of West Virginia, Zell Miller of Georgia, and Ben Nelson of Nebraska.

John Edwards of North Carolina did not vote. Elizabeth Dole of North Carolina did vote, not a hair out of place, and she naturally voted with the Satan-haters. She certainly understood -- even if Senator Edwards did NOT -- that failure to pass this amendment would mean whole counties in the Tar Heel State turning suddenly and inexplicably pink, from the water tower to town hall!

For the record, Three Forks Baptist Church on Hwy 421 hates Satan. They had the message "Pass the Defense of Marriage Amendment NOW!" on their marquee this morning.