The President as Stand-Up Comedian

In Pontiac, Michigan, on Wednesday, El Presidente actually said, without a trace of irony, "A political candidate who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts is not a person you want as commander-in-chief."

What about a commander-in-chief who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts? "Sorry-assed little Iraq is a place we NEED to preemptively invade because of its WMD, its nukular program, and its close ties to Al Qaeda. Yes, God! I hear you calling!"

Jon Stewart featured the videotape of El Presidente actually saying the "jumping to conclusions" line last night on "The Daily Show." That's a joke that writes itself.