The Edwards Factor

Oh please! The Raleigh News & Observer is chattering about a new poll showing North Carolina "in play" if John Kerry chooses John Edwards as his running mate:

"The Mason-Dixon poll, conducted for WRAL-TV and other news organizations, shows President Bush leading Sen. John Kerry, the likely Democratic nominee, by a 48 percent to 41 percent margin, with 3 percent for Ralph Nader and 8 percent undecided. But if Kerry should name Edwards as his vice presidential running mate, Bush's lead narrows to 46 to 45 percent -- a statistical dead heat -- with 2 percent for Nader and 7 percent undecided."

Some polls are just not even worth the effort of a guffaw, since Edwards was heavily favored to lose his senate seat before he announced his presidential bid. But we note with bitterness and resentment the crucial two percent clinging to the capsized Ralph Nader in that fake scenario.

Now if Kerry's running mate were John McCain ... that would be a jackass of a different color!

Speaking of jackasses, Nader is meeting with John Kerry this very day to discuss "certain common policies." The national Reform Party (which ought to change its name to the National Bipolar Disorder Party) endorsed Nader last week, a move that gives him access to the ballot in at least seven states, including the battlegrounds of Florida and Michigan.

"The relationship between the two camps [Kerry & Nader] is delicate, with some fearing heavy pressure to exit could stiffen Nader to stay in the race."

Wonkette would make something dirty out of that "heavy pressure could stiffen Nader," and the truth is that our political metaphors really are a cover for deep psycho-sexual anxiety. Just witness the queer fear in the North Carolina Republican Party!