NC GOP: First in Ignorance

Watch the four leading contenders in the Republican primary for U.S. Senate all deny that climate change is real.

Yup. Head-butting science is the way to get ahead in today's Republican Party.

Nutballs At the Tea Party

At the Republican Senate candidate forum on the banks of Loch Loman Lake Norman last night -- the Tea Party tribal stomp that loss leader Thom Tillis turned up his nose at -- Tea Party star Greg Brannon said he wanted to phase out Social Security. Apparently, some bicycle seats are fully edible, if old people would just apply themselves!

Heather Grant, the Nurse Ratched of Wilkes County, said she hoped to be one of the six new Republican senators that it'll take to try President Obama for impeachment. She also said that she wants to do away with the Environmental Protection Agency, because she can still see her hands in front of her face when she's outside.

Rev. Mark Harris of Charlotte's First Baptist Church said he was shocked -- shocked! -- that the U.S. House of Representatives had not already impeached Obama.

Rev. Harris also said he was hoping and praying that his BFF, Jehovah, would chasten the numerous Federal judges who were overturning anti-gay marriage laws all across the land, because God has ordained divine discrimination. Otherwise, Federal judges were going to split hell wide open when they land there, which will be soon.

Thom Tillis Doesn't Show at "The Stupid Candidates" Tea Party

Back earlier this year, discredited Republican king-maker Karl Rove said on Fox News, "Our object is to avoid having stupid candidates who can't win general elections, who are undisciplined, can't raise money, aren't putting together the support necessary to win a general election campaign."

Rove was announcing that he and the big donors behind his Crossroads Super PAC were going to be recruiting Republican candidates who looked good and knew how to keep their traps shut, hiding their extreme views until they get onto the floor of the U.S. Senate, and then let their freak flag fly!

One of the slicksters that Rove decided to anoint was Speaker of the NC House Thom Tillis, who has been struggling for traction but who is now blessed with not one but four Tea Party challengers, including one certifiable prober of women's vaginas, one God-addled crusader against gays, one talk radio screecher, and one woman who seems to have wandered in from a 1950s taping of "Queen for a Day." With that congregation against him, Tillis is guaranteed a win in next May's primary.

But never mind that. The circus pulled up in Gastonia last night -- the four Tea Partiers with Tillis absent -- and they left their Maalox at home. It was all acid reflux all the time. They stripped the wax off the floor.

Oh Tillis was invited all right, but he was otherwise engaged with none other than Karl Rove, who's been in our state raising money for his "not stupid" candidate Tillis. Did we say there was heartburn in Gastonia last night? The mere presence of Karl Rove within our state's boundaries was enough for at least two of the Tea Party candidates to belch fire. We hear the curtains burst into flame.

Republican U.S. Senate 2014 Primary Draws a Woman Candidate

Heather Grant, a nurse practitioner at Urgent Care of Wilkes Regional Hospital, with standard Republican conservative views (yes, Virginia, she hates the Federal government, so you can relax).

She joins NC Speaker of the House Thom Tillis and ob/gyn doc Greg Brannon, who've already announced their candidacies.

There'll be more candidates anon. They'll all hate government.