The One, The Only, The Essential Governor of California

 

Gavin Has the Ring

 

Last Thursday, August 14, the Texas House Democratic Caucus issued a statement from exile announcing they would return home on two conditions. First, that the special session called by the governor to scratch a Trump itch end, which it was calendared to do anyway by statute the following day, on Friday, August 15. (Gov. Whatsit says he will immediately call another special session, and the Texas Democrats both know that and accept their inevitable fate, because after all their theatrics did focus the popular imagination on political corruption and actually sparked Gavin Newsom's current brilliant satire of Jethro and just incidentally supplied the Texans' second condition for returning home: That California lawmakers introduce Gov. Newsom's proposal to redraw the map of California to add precisely five more Democrats to the US Congress.

Trolling, they call it. I prefer the more ancient term satire, "the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices." Remember that Trump was touted as an addition to Mt. Rushmore, a ridiculous honor that the man could admit he deserved. Here's Newsom's mirror:

Newsom's Twitter posts have been hilarious parodies:

Governor Newsom Press Office

@GovPressOffice

BIRD-BRAIN TREY GALLAGHER (A SO-CALLED FOX "NEWS" HOST THAT NOBODY HAS EVER HEARD OF) SAYS MY POSTS ARE “CHILDISH” AND “UNBECOMING” OF A LEADER — CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? MANY ARE SAYING FOX ("EDIT THE TAPES") NEWS SHOULD CANCEL HIS PATHETIC LITTLE "BEDTIME SHOW" IMMEDIATELY. THEY ARE CALLING IT THE MOST BORING PROGRAM IN CABLE HISTORY. TOTAL SNOOZE FEST! SAD!!! — GCN

TRUMP JUST FLED THE PODIUM WITH PUTIN — NO QUESTIONS, NOTHING! TOTAL LOW ENERGY. THE MAN LOOKED LIKE HE’D JUST EATEN 3 BUCKETS OF KFC WITH VLAD. IS HE AFRAID THE PRESS WILL ASK ABOUT ME??? (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) AND THE FACT I "STOLE THE CAMERAS" THIS WEEK WITH “THE MAPS”? MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE BEGGED PUTIN TO HOLD HIS HANDS (TINY) ON THE WAY OUT. ADMIT IT, DONNIE J… YOU’RE TERRIFIED BECAUSE THIS WAS THE WORST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM. “THE MAPS” WILL END YOUR PRESIDENCY, RETAKE CONGRESS FOR THE PEOPLE, AND EXPOSE YOUR RIGGED "LITTLE GAME." MY "PERFECT MAPS" ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ANYTHING IN TRUMP TOWER (WHICH MANY SAY SMELLS WEIRD). @STEVENCHUENG47 — EXPLAIN THIS DISASTER!!! ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT HOME, DONALD — YOU’RE PUTIN’S PROBLEM NOW. I’M AMERICA’S SOLUTION. — GCN

DONALD (TINY HANDS), HAS WRITTEN HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY THIS MORNING — UNFORTUNATELY (LOW IQ) HE SPELLED IT WRONG — “BETA.” SOON YOU WILL BE A “FIRED” BETA BECAUSE OF MY PERFECT, “BEAUTIFUL MAPS.” THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! — GCN