TEACHING THE BIBLE IN SCHOOL

I'd been hearing about David Van Biema's cover article in the current Time, and when he popped up on C-SPAN this a.m., I knew I was going to have to go find that article and digest it.

You know what? I'm in favor of teaching the Bible as literature in public schools. The textbooks that have been developed seem more than merely adequate for recognizing the Bible as great literature while avoiding any itch to turn the lessons into devotional pretexts.

By the time I got to college I knew much of the Bible by heart. I sat in college classes with fellow West Texans who had been raised as Southern Baptists -- me? I was a holy-roller -- who couldn't recognize a Biblical allusion to (ahem) save their souls. Whatever they'd been doing all those years in Sunday School, they hadn't been paying attention.

In graduate school I encountered my first academic recognition that the Bible was impressive literature. I enrolled at the University of Utah in a course taught by a man whose eyes glittered and whose voice rose like rolling thunder when he quoted Isaiah. He was officially a proud "jack Mormon," meaning he'd been raised in the religion but had fallen away from it. Actually, I think he was a devout atheist, but he was the greatest Bible teacher I ever had.

I ended up attaching myself to him, and he became my dissertation director. He wanted me to take a few years and learn Hebrew, and since he was himself a Milton scholar, he suggested I could learn Greek "in any odd hour." Had I followed his advice, I'd still be in graduate school.

(Not that it wouldn't be nice to know Hebrew and Greek.)

The English Bible is part of the scaffolding of our language and students should know it like they (supposedly) know Shakespeare. It would make them better people if they possessed those cadences in their DNA. It would certainly make them better cussers, more able to call down the wrath of heaven on their enemies.

APRIL TRACKING POLLS IN NC

...for both Republican and Democratic candidates ... if you're into this kind of thing.

THE BUSH ECONOMY -- EXCELLENT FOR FAT CATS

Well, don't claim you're surprised.

"Corporate profitability rose to its historically highest level at the end of last year as manufacturing and service sector companies benefited from strong sales growth combined with lower energy prices and subdued wage pressures." (Here)

Get a load of that phrase "subdued wage pressures." That's corporate-speak for foreign slave labor.

BEARING WITNESS

Yessir, when we squint our eyes in concentration and try to think of a Christ-like example to show the young people, we DO come up with Ann Coulter.

'Course, it helps if your putative saint is also a hardline Republican.

Southern Evangelical Seminary in Matthews, N.C., wants to share this shining example of Christianity with its faithful students (no "faggots" here, Ann!) , but (what the hey!) might as well raise a little holy money at the same time, so it'll cost the godly $55 to get in the door.

BEER BRAINS

Young adults 18-25 in North Carolina are "more likely to engage in binge drinking than participate in elections."

--A report from Democracy North Carolina, quoted in today's N&O (scroll down)

Maybe when they have to bring back the draft, to get us out of the quagmire we got into partially because young people weren't paying attention to what their government was doing around the world ... maybe then.

Fuller account of the report ... here.

CHATHAM COUNTY CONSIDERING MORATORIUM ON SUBDIVISIONS

Chatham County is the eighth fastest growing county in North Carolina. Some 15,000 new homes have been approved for construction. But finding water for all those new residents to drink, and accommodating what they flush (not to mention roads, schools, and strip malls to serve all those people), has got the Chatham County Commission worrying out loud. Projected growth in Chatham graphs out to a need for some 15 million gallons of water a day.

There's talk of at least a year-long moratorium on subdivision development.

Bunch a socialists!

We'll be following with interest what happens down in Pittsboro. In the elections last fall, the "slow-growth" forces (i.e., the "socialists") won seats on the County Commission. The times, they may be a-changing, with the "growth-at-any-cost" forces moving into eclipse across the state.

IF YOU GO IN FOR COUNSELING, KEEP THE DOOR OPEN

A Southern Baptist preacher in Kernersville charged with four counts of sexually exploiting a 17-year-old boy who had come in for counseling over the death of a friend.

QUALIFIER OF THE DAY

"He is basically conservative, outside the social issues."

--Rudy Giuliani, as described by Jim Culbertson, a Winston-Salem businessman who will chair Giuliani's North Carolina campaign, in this a.m.'s N&O

That's called turning a blind eye. Other examples:

"He is basically drug-free, outside the oxycontin."

"He is basically innocent, outside the vehicular manslaughter."

"He is basically hetero, outside of last Saturday night."

A LOYAL BUSHIE REPENTS

Matthew Dowd was a major architect both of George W. Bush's initial appointment as president and of his reelection. Now Dowd says John Kerry was right.

Talk to the hand, Mr. Dowd.

This morning during the Sunday a.m. gasbaggery, El Presidente's (still) loyal lieutenant Dan Bartlett came within a hair's breadth of suggesting that Dowd was in the middle of a mental breakdown. We're not about to go look, but we suspect that particular talking point has blossomed by now into full, malodorant flower all over the right-wing blogs, because, ya know, NO ONE TURNS AGAINST THIS PRESIDENT WHO ISN'T MENTALLY UNSTABLE. Or gay.