Virginia Foxx Gives Us a Godliness Update

Congressperson Madame Virginia Foxx spoke at the local Lincoln Day Dinner hosted by the Watauga County Republican Party (Watauga Democrat coverage here). We read it for you so you don't have to:

WHAT SHE SAID: "The House of Representatives is truly the people's House."

WHAT SHE MEANT: We're gonna privatize the hell outta the joint!

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WHAT SHE SAID: "The Republicans have wonderful leadership right now. They are godly people, their feet firmly on the ground, with great common sense."

WHAT SHE MEANT: When you keep both feet on the ground, it's much harder to have sex on a desk. Common sense tells you that.

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WHAT SHE SAID: "I spend about four hours a day meeting with constituents."

WHAT SHE MEANT: Sometimes it takes even longer to get the money out of them.

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WHAT SHE SAID: "The Democrats have been pretty much a party of 'No' this session."

WHAT SHE MEANT: The way the political system is supposed to work, see, is for us to tell everyone what we want, and then everyone salutes. Why do the Democrats hate freedom so much?

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WHAT SHE SAID: "Their leader, Nancy Pelosi, gets on TV all the time and all she does is lambast Republicans."

WHAT SHE MEANT: I wonder where she gets her hair done? I love her 'look,' but not in a gay way. More importantly, can I hire her PR firm?

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WHAT SHE SAID: "We have a great agenda and we're moving our agenda."

WHAT SHE MEANT: "I've made great movements all my life, except for that brief time I was on a boiled egg and banana diet. That was rough."

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WHAT SHE SAID: "While they're focusing on our leadership and trashing our president, we are getting things done. We passed a budget, and it's a good budget and cut spending at the federal level for the first time since Reagan."

WHAT SHE MEANT: Okay, it's a mess. Worst. Budget. Ever.

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WHAT SHE SAID: "I don't think people in political life should exempt themselves from the laws that apply to other people."

WHAT SHE MEANT: "I voted to exempt Tom DeLay from the ethics rules, but that's different. And as a member of Congress, I have a much better retirement plan than the rest of you, who rely on -- what is it? -- 'Social Security'? Which is broken. Definitely broken. So if you want greater retirement security, it's simple: get yourself elected to Congress! Otherwise, what's the matter with you? Can't you wean yourself from the Federal government? Sheesh!

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WHAT SHE SAID: "The Democrats' backs are against the wall, and they are determined to take back the House. It's going to be a tough year."

WHAT SHE MEANT: I've been in the minority before, and I'm damned if I'm going back! God intended me for greater influence, and exemption from the speeding laws.