Virginia Foxx, Self-Medicating

Madam Foxx has sent out another e-mail (soon to be a column, no doubt, in a thrice-weekly newspaper near you), trying to work up a show of concern over the high cost of American health care. Some excerpts:

WHAT SHE SAID
"While the high price of gasoline is the major issue on the minds of most Americans, another prevalent topic of discussion is healthcare."
WHAT SHE MEANT
See, I can too pander and chew gum at the same time.

WHAT SHE SAID
"Americans have a right to expect access to affordable, high quality, patient centered health care. That does not have to mean a one-size-fits-all plan run by clipboard-wielding Washington bureaucrats or a program for seniors which denies them choice of physicians."
WHAT SHE MEANT
People should just stop whining. When I was poor, we couldn't even afford aspirin.

WHAT SHE SAID
"The two major factors behind these rising [health-care] costs are government-run programs and employer provided insurance."
WHAT SHE MEANT
One time I was caught in a bear trap. I had to chew my own foot off. But I reattached it myself, with some dental floss and a knitting needle.

WHAT SHE SAID
"And we should also work to ensure that low-income children are insured."
WHAT SHE MEANT
Like the man said: yadda yadda yadda.

WHAT SHE SAID
"One potential solution is to level the health insurance playing field and reduce the government's intrusion into healthcare."
WHAT SHE MEANT
I've also performed open-heart surgery on myself.

WHAT SHE SAID
"We live in an economy where more and more people regularly switch jobs."
WHAT SHE MEANT
When I was two years old, I moved myself from New York to North Carolina. Nobody helped me. But I don't dwell on the past.