SpongeBob SquarePants Okay With These Christians

For the record, the United Church of Christ has issued a proclamation that the cartoon sponge, lately accused of being a flaming queer by Mullah James Dobson, is "unequivocally" welcome by the UCC. The Rev. John H. Thomas, the UCC's general minister and president, made the announcement (and the photo of Rev. Thomas holding a confab with SpongeBob in his church office here is priceless).

Rev. Thomas said the UCC also welcomes Barney, Big Bird, Tinky-Winky, Clifford the Big Red Dog or, for that matter, "any who have experienced the Christian message as a harsh word of judgment rather than Jesus' offering of grace." All those cartoon characters have been fingered by the mullahs as a little on the "pink" side, especially Tinky-Winky, whom Jerry Falwell "outed" several years ago. (Tinky-Winky subsequently went into a deep depression, reportedly attempted suicide after being fired off "The Tele-Tubbies," spent several years doing weather reports in the Keokuk, Iowa, TV market, and is said to be finishing up an autobiography titled, "The Things He Said About Me Aren't True. And So What If It Is?")

You'll recall, of course, that it was the UCC that produced a 30-second TV commercial to underscore the denomination's belief that Jesus didn't turn anyone away. That commercial was turned down by CBS and other broadcasters as "too controversial."