When Contemplating the US Senate, Drugs Help

 

Connie Schultz

 

 

I wish I could see into the future. I wish I were a prophet, divinely guided. I would see Ken Paxton winning the Republican runoff for US Senate in Texas next week -- because of the last-minute Trump endorsement. Then I see James Talerico taking the Senate seat in November.

I see Andy Barr, the Kentucky 6th Dist. congressman and all-in trumpist who beat the Mitch McConnell machine last night in the Republican primary for McConnell's seat, easily win in November, join the Senate in January 2027, and become a regular source for jokes about corruption and meanness. 

I see Michael Whatley going into real estate sales.

I see Sherrod Brown returning to the Senate from Ohio. I get to meet his wife, whom I'm in love with. 

I see Graham Platner winning the Senate seat in Maine and then getting into a fistfight with Andy Barr, which sends Barr to Walter Reed.

I see independent Dan Osborn, "The Guy From the Shop Floor," defeating the billionaire Pete Richetts in Nebraska with Democratic Party support. Osborn immediately irritates the Party and often teams up with Maine Senator Graham Platner to demand radical economic reform. 

I see a free-for-all break out over the replacing of Chuck Schumer as Senate Majority Leader in 2027. Chris Van Hollen of Maryland takes it by a hair, proves uncompromisingly tough. 

I see so much shock and surprise in North Carolina following November 3rd, with the veto-proof Republican legislative steamroller gone in both state Senate and House and no Boss Berger in the joint to organize the flabbergasted troops. House Speaker Destin Hall becomes the most powerful member of the General Assembly, but he plays nice(r) with Gov. Josh Stein. They sit down for a beer together and change things.

Ye Fates of Water and Floodtide, thank you for your attention to this matter.