What's Gonna Be Worse in 2018: Being Oblivious Or Living With Reality?

An interview with Congresswoman Virginia Foxx in the Washington Examiner produced these direct quotes about what happened on Tuesday:

What She Said
"I don't think elections in the House of Delegates is directly comparable to what might happen in the Congress of the United States .... I feel pretty comfortable about our winning in 2018."

What She Meant

Comparisons are odorous, or don't you know your Milton?

......

What She Said

"If you want to portray this as a severe loss, you can find examples to do that."

What She Meant
If you wanna be a dickhead about it.

.......

What She Said

"If you want to portray it as a not-so-severe loss, you can find examples to do that."

What She Meant

Do you have any idea whatsoever how flexible I am. Why, I can bend over backwards and touch my nose to the backs of my calves.

......

What She Said

"It's like a Chinese menu: You pick two from column one and three from column two."

What She Meant

I put my derp in my derp with my other derp.