Virginia Foxx Holds a Hearing

Congresswoman Virginia Foxx is more important than you can imagine, waaay too important for your peasant and peanut-sized brain to even begin to appreciate. She chairs an actual subcommittee of an actual committee of the actual Congress of the United States. She held a hearing and issued a press release about it:

WHAT SHE SAID
"In recent months, the issue of rising college costs has shifted to the forefront of our national discourse – and rightly so, as millions of young people struggle to manage school debt and find job opportunities in the lagging economy."

WHAT SHE MEANT
Please address me as “Doctor Foxx,” as I have a doctorate. It’s an Ed.D. -- granted -- not a Ph.D., but it’s framed and on the wall, right over there. I got it without taking out any student loans, bitches!

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WHAT SHE SAID
“All of us have the best of intentions when it comes to helping students afford a college education. And we all agree debt should not be a foregone conclusion in higher education.”

WHAT SHE MEANT
Commie, pinko, left-wing, radical professors are indoctrinating students every minute, and I’ll grow a tail and hooves before I’ll vote to help one mush-brained American teenager attend any university in this or in any other universe.