Fighting Crime in South Carolina

So you're a college kid in South Carolina who just happens to know Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps, and may have burned one with the champion swimmer, and it's Saturday, and suddenly a dozen cops kick in the front door -- kick in -- with guns drawn -- guns freakin' drawn -- and then manage to find a few grams of marijuana, so now you're in jail being grilled about whether you smoked dope with Michael Phelps. " 'Were you at the party with Michael Phelps? Did you see him using marijuana?' It was all about Michael Phelps."

Dude, you're in South em-effing Carolina.

A former solicitor for Richland and Kershaw counties, now representing the student, said that in his entire legal career he had "never seen a search warrant executed for simple possession of marijuana."

And it's not just one pot-smoking college student offending the high morals of South Carolina. The article in The State newspaper says that a total of at least eight students have been arrested, and went to jail, so that the good name of the Palmetto Bug State would not lie besmirched by the likes of Michael Phelps.