Senator McCain Writes Us a Letter

"Dear Friend,
The choice America will face in November is very clear"

...it begins. How clear? The Senator will leave no easy, knee-jerk stereotype unused: "liberal" vs. "conservative" are tossed around precisely 21 words into the letter.

And those prejudices are supposed to kick me into a generous mood? Senator McCain is asking ME for money, while ringing the Pavlovian bell of "liberal liberal liberal"? Either (1) his campaign is REALLY hurting or (2) his campaign is really inept, wasting postage on the likes of me. But we digress.

On page 2 of this 4-page screed (and why can't candidates for national office be succinct and waste less paper?) we wade into the deep weeds of manipulation:

"And I am running so that every person in this country, now and in generations to come, will know the same sublime honor that has been the treasure of my life: to be proud to be an American."

Senator, I know you somehow couldn't resist this cheap shot aimed at Michelle Obama, but one thing I've learned through adversity: my pride in being American is tied to our Constitution and to our history, not to the success or failure of any one pandering candidate for the presidency nor to any particular president. I was a proud American when Eisenhower was president; I was a proud American when Nixon was president, when Reagan was president, and when George W. Bush ascended the throne. My pride in being an American had nothing much to do with the personalities and policies of presidents with whom I disagreed fundamentally, nor with presidents I admired and supported neither. Apparently, I'm not supposed to be sublimely proud unless you, John McCain, get to the Oval Office.

The rest of the letter devolves into lies and threats, warnings of dire consequences in 2009. We quote directly:

Senator Obama will surrender to Al Qaeda
Senator Obama will increase the size of the federal government
Senator Obama will raise your taxes
Senator Obama will offer a big government solution to health care coverage
Senator Obama will appoint to the federal bench judges [who are LIBERALS]

And oh, by the way, "I am ready to deliver real reform and lasting change, not just slogans." Which is why I want to make sure you know that Obama is a weak, Muslim-loving, pussy LIBERAL!

Uh-huh.

Well, good luck with your campaign, Senator, and rest assured that insofar as I believe any of your pitch, my check is in the mail.