The Green Zone, Hazardous to Members of Congress

Polishing your wholly imaginary military cred in Baghdad's "green zone" is not a good idea for western North Carolina congresspersons ... because they often end up looking like tin soldiers, all tarnished and bent.

First, Madam Virginia Foxx, well known military expert, goes over in August 2006, surveys the far horizon from the safety of one of Saddam's former palaces and declares, "Iraq war going well. Soldiers seem happy with their equipment and their mission."

After Mary Shaffrey reports the Madam's words in the Winston-Salem Journal, and incredulous guffawing breaks out all over the Fifth Dist., Madam Foxx severs press relations with the Winston-Salem Journal, blaming the newspaper for reporting what she said. Journal editor eventually writes an editorial pointing out the congresswoman's dyspepsia and her use of alleged media bias as a fundraising ploy. Anti-Foxx letters-to-the-editor pour into the Journal for weeks.

Now little Patty McHenry from the neighboring Tenth Congressional District, another noted military expert, gets himself to the Green Zone, partly to build up his military credentials against an actual military man running against him in the Republican primary, and partly to duck a debate, wraps his wet head in a plush towel and promptly steps on his own weenie at least twice.

See, there's a lesson in here somewhere for posturing politicians and professional phonies.