Memo to Conservative Republicans: FREEZE!

Who decided this was National Declare Conservatism Dead Week? Somehow we missed getting that memo, but we want to celebrate these national holidays as much as the next guy.

First this a.m., we ran across the report of George Will's remarks to the John Locke Foundations ("be afraid, conservatives, be very afraid!"). Then here comes Jonah Goldberg, who seems to have gotten to be an Important Conservative Pundit mainly by being the son of Lucianne Goldberg, who famously induced Linda Tripp (or John Goodman ... I forget which) to secretly tape-record her conversations with Monica Lewinsky. But I digress.

Goldberg was out yesterday in the WashPost with a jeremiad about the rapidly declining futures of American conservatism specifically and of the Republican Party generally.

Goldberg has (to our eyes) the novel prescription for conservative Republicans of ... DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING: "The traditional conservative believes that if you don't have a good idea for what an elephant should be doing, the best course is to encourage it to do nothing at all. Alas, the chorus shouting, 'Don't just do something, stand there!' shrinks by the day."

Now, that does call for a celebratory drink. And maybe I'll pop open that other can of Pringles.