ON MONDAYS, WE FEEL LIKE A RUDDERLESS BOAT

It's like standing at the water cooler, trying to shake off the last lingering penumbra of a too energetic weekend, and hearing your fellow office clones rave on about a TV show you watched one time and would never watch again, not even with a cocked revolver pointed at your temple, and you're amazed that so many people could be so enthusiastic about so little.

That's the way we feel this a.m. with -- what? -- eight Democratic presidential hopefuls to choose from ... SO FAR.

Here's the chatter at the water cooler:

...just terrific people. They are each bright and capable. Person by person, they are committed to bringing out the best in America. In ethnic and gender terms, they represent a marvelous picture of the real America, and not a one of them appeals to hate or divisiveness.

Of course, each of the Democratic candidates would be vastly superior to the incumbent. Each would study the issues, bring fine people into public service with them, honorably represent America, and make tough but moral decisions. Not a one is unqualified. Not a one lacks adequate experience. Not a one harbors extremist views, or is unaware of the significance of the Presidency to not only Americans but everyone in the world.

--Reed Hundt

Oh, God, make it stop. We feel so strangely guilty that we've not up for the happy talk. Where's the Excedrin, anyway?

Chuck Hagel ... why isn't HE a Democrat?

Unless things change -- and they WILL, as they always do -- we'll put our energies into defeating our two female bobbleheads in the House (Foxx) and the Senate (Dole), and let the presidency take care of itself.