DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE DUMB FRATERNITY?

Apparently, they don't make 'em any dumber than Sigma Chi at Chapel Hill.

First, they get outed for breaking the Greek code of conduct (forcing their pledges to drink alcohol, verbally harassing them, depriving them of sleep, and making them perform menial tasks), and when the Daily Tar Heel headlines their punishment (suspension until 2009), members of the fraternity run all over campus stealing more than 10,000 copies of the newspaper.

Elemental logic: We steal papers. Nobody read. Nobody know what asses we are.

Now the fraternity president has 'fessed up to the theft, and the fraternity will pay substantial money (the "high four figures," according to the N&O) in restitution.

Elemental logic (reprise): Act like asses and then like jerks, and the whole world's gonna hear about it.