Republicans and the Environment

Back on September 12th, Catawba College's Center for the Environment hosted the national president of Republicans for Environmental Protection (say wha?), one Martha Marks, who thinks the National Republican Party has unwisely evicted conservation from the house of conservatism, a bad bargain. "I sometimes hear Republicans say that Democrats have 'stolen' the environment as an issue," Marks told the Salisbury Post. "I don't think that's what happened. I believe Republicans have abandoned it .... We have an administration that can't even bring itself to talk about environmental issues. That's a terrible state of affairs for a conservative party."

(You know, it was bound to happen. With even a few Baptists turning "environmental," the green virus was probably destined to seep around the duck tape and plastic sheeting some Republicans use to keep reality at bay. I said some! Lord knows that the local environmental movement would never have been as vibrant and effective without the active blood, sweat, and tears of many Republicans who are a lot more afraid of asphalt fumes than zoning laws. But I digress.)

Martha Marks told the Salisbury Post that "officials who deny public funding for such projects [as preserving national areas] under the guise of upholding conservative values are in fact acting in a 'liberal, squandering' way regarding the protection of our natural heritage."

Well now! You wouldn't expect such heresy to go unanswered, would you? You hear that sound of chopping? That's the wood-gathering crew of North Carolina mullahs getting ready to burn this witch. A follow-up letter to the editor in the Salisbury Post lays down Republican doctrine on "socialist preservationists." Says the letter-writer, Ms. Marks' "most important political concerns, as a 'Republican' should be: curtailing expansive government regulation, reducing costs imposed on us from locking up our natural resources, fighting those who demand more government control of our land."

Republicans for Environmental Protection are a little like Republicans for Choice. The cognitive dissonance of pairing mutually exclusive terms like that could create a tear in the fabric of the universe.