Madame Foxx Washes Her Dirty Laundry

Friday the Watauga Democrat published a lengthy interview with 5th Dist. Congresswoman Virginia Foxx. We read it so you don't have to:

What she said: "I try to catch up on mail when I'm in the office. Sunday night, I had about 150 letters to review."

What she meant: "And Sunday nights are usually spent praising the Lord and thanking Jesus."

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What she said: "I'm fascinated with the founding of this country. It was a lot more difficult than I think most people realize. There's no doubt in my mind that God's hand was in on the founding of this country."

What she meant: "He's great with the ole 'Reach Around,' praise His holy name!"

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What she said: "Their brilliance has not been duplicated. Just look at the Constitution and how well it has worked for us with very little change. Think about the other countries trying to write theirs. It took six years to come up with the Constitution."

What she meant: "It took me seven years to find Jesus as my personal savior. Or whatever you call it."

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What she said: "The role of the federal government is defense of this nation, and we need to be constantly reminded that is the most important function. What gave these men inspiration to fight a war was understanding they were a free people and wanted to maintain freedom."

What she meant: "If I can rationalize a foreign invasion based on lies, I can fake being a Baptist."

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What she said: "Obviously I have loyalty to the people who elect me, but also to the people of the nation as a whole to maintain the form of government that we have."

What she meant: "The whole is where it's at. W-h-o-l-e."

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What she said: "I get at least one letter or email a week, usually a couple, that are misinformed."

What she meant: "I wasn't even in town when-- Never mind."

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What she said: "Last night, I got home at 10 and washed four loads of clothes."

What she meant: "Although I have a pair of enormous balls, I am nevertheless a subservient woman."

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What she said: "There's almost never a time during the day when I sit behind a desk."

What she meant: "I'm like a camel. I can go weeks without water."

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What she said: "A lot of days, you don't have a huge success, but you're building all the time. It takes weeks, months or years to get something really important accomplished. Big things don't scare me off if it's the right thing after they're done."

What she meant: "Having a Vision is haaard and takes really tortured syntax."