Rumsfeld Couldn't Be Bothered

Comes out this a.m. that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has been using an automatic signature device to fake his handwriting on letters of condolence that have now gone out in over 1,200 cases of the deaths of U.S. soldiers in the Iraq War. This admission comes hard on the heels of a Pentagon spokesman lying on Rumsfeld's behalf that yes, of course, the secretary signs his own correspondence. But, no, he doesn't, and the previous statement is now rendered "inoperative." Rumsfeld put out a statement that he will in future be signing the letters to mothers and fathers, to wives and children, to husbands and children, regretting to inform them that their beloved family member has been snuffed out in a legitimately instigated, competently managed, glorious extension of American empire to people who will, eventually, thank us for preemptively attacking their country.

In other, not unrelated news, some 14 oil executives, corporate leaders, and Texas Republicans have so far coughed up $250,000 each to help give El Presidente a suitably lavish second inauguration. Part of that money will go to pay for the "Commander-in-Chief Ball" at the National Building Museum, "to honor troops who have just returned from Afghanistan and Iraq or who are about to be deployed." Well, that'll make up for everything!

But in the spirit of putting one's money where one's puckered lips kiss fat butt, check out at least two web sites that are outlining the political contributions of many more of the companies and organizations you might be considering doing business with: www.BuyBlue.org and www.ChooseTheBlue.com. On one of those two sites, you can sign up for e-mail alerts. How else would we find out that Amazon.com is relatively bad, but that Barnes & Noble is very very good? Also very very bad ... Circuit City! And Dollar General! And Home Depot, The Limited, and J.C. Penney (though who in this life EVER shops at J.C. Penney?). But go look for yourself.