George Bush Runs for SGA

Long live C-SPAN, for its split-screen presentation of last night's presidential debate between George W. and John F.!

The smirk was back! Yes, ladies & gents, the frat-boy made his triumphal reappearance, and you could have sworn you were sitting in the gymnasium bleachers watching an adolescent contest for school body president -- the nerdiest member of the chess club facing the coolest and most popular boy on campus.

George W. never stopped chicken-neckin' all night, pursing his mouth, snorting out of one nostril, squinting at his opponent, winking at the moderator, rolling his eyes at what the Big Tall Geek was saying on the other side of the stage, flashing those same eyes in derision, in rage, or in hopeless merriment at what The Geek just said. Bush's body language spoke volumes about how he regards himself as opposed to his opponent. He was, like, signaling the other cool kids in school that he thinks his opponent is a Huge Joke.

I rewatched the tape to confirm that the initial handshake between Bush and Kerry was cut short when Bush turned away from Kerry in mid-shake and wrenched his hand away from the man he can't bring himself to respect. The 90 minutes which followed was the fidgety-est performance I've ever witnessed from a Leader of the Western World, albeit from a president trying to pass himself off as an adult.

Most of the time, George just seemed miffed, like he was surpressing an overwhelming urge to run over and pants his opponent. There was such derision in his eyes, in the perpetual pursing of that little mouth -- which looks like this most of the time: )---( ... a tight little straight line flanked by backward parentheses. That mouth contorts into a left-side-down, right-side-up slant when he's feeling (or merely showing) his superiority to the question.

And there was such an air of entitlement about his demeanor, as though he thinks everyone ought to know that he's the ONLY viable candidate for student body president, and this other guy, this gawky NERD, is purely laughable. It all came clear to me on the second viewing of the videotape, when George said of Kerry, dismissively, "He's trying to be popular in the world." Get the import of that "trying to be popular"? ... from the arrogant little son of privilege who's always just been popular by nature, by birth, by family wealth and privilege.

Number of times George Bush referred to terrorists as "a group of folks": 1
Number of times he referred to terrorists as "evil-doers": 0

Number of drinks of water taken by Kerry during the 90 minutes: 1
Number of drinks of water taken by Bush during the same time: 16
Number of attempted drinks of water taken by Bush from an empty glass: 2

Number of times Bush referred to how "hard" or "tough" his job is: 16

Number of Bush references to God or praying: 3
Number of Kerry references to God: 1

The score over-all? It doesn't much matter that I thought Bush's relentless iteration of the rehearsed message ("Kerry is soft, can't be trusted, isn't resolute") was delivered much more strongly to the masses in TV-land than Kerry's nuances, and it doesn't much matter that I thought Kerry missed opportunity after opportunity to knee-cap the president ... the spin today is that Kerry won. I'll take the spin. Though I would have much more preferred the reality.