Crack Whore

Looking for a fix, Republican candidate for NC guv Pat McCrory now says he's in favor of punching holes in the sea floor off the North Carolina coast. Gonna git that awl. Which'll make it possible to keep running all these SUVs up and down the road. Sez he'll issue an "executive order" once he's guv. Since he'll be god and all.

NC-11 Congressman Heath Shuler labels this oily pandering as a "lack of maturity" in his fellow House Republicans.

Shuler said oil and gas companies already hold leases on nearly 68 million acres of federal land that could produce an additional 4.8 million barrels of oil and 44.7 billion cubic feet of natural gas each day. That would nearly double total U.S. oil production and would increase natural gas production by 75 percent, he said.

Instead of insisting that Big Oil drill the leases they already hold, Republican politicians posture for the cameras and tout the "easy fix" of drilling off our coasts and in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge. Like Madam Foxx. And pathetic Liddy Dole.

And now Pat McCrory.

Men Beat Their Wives in the Pursuit of Holiness

Damn uppity women. Causing men to abuse 'em.

Unstable Laurelmor

Mounting evidence.

Marion Goes Wet

In case you missed the screaming parallels with the upcoming liquor-by-the-drink vote in Boone ... Marion, N.C., recently passed both liquor-by-the-drink sales AND beer sales within its city limits...

1. despite the opposition of a "formidable opposition group" calling itself Citizens for Faith and Family Values, led by two preachers, and a second group called Concerned Christians Against Beer Businesses, the leaders of which say they will now lead a boycott of businesses selling beer

2. despite the howls of outrage by McDowell County residents, who said it wasn't right that they weren't allowed to vote on whether Marion city could sanction liquor sales (reference the comments to the article linked above)

We haven't changed our personal leanings on this issue (against, for fastidiously complicated antediluvian reasons), but we'll be watching to see whether Marion sinks into the Pit of Everlasting Fire in time to offer an object lesson in native economics (you know what an economist is, right? Someone who knows the cost of everything but the value of nothing).

McCain Kissing Some Rings in WNC

Senator John is outside Asheville today paying fealty to one branch of American churchiness represented by Billy Graham and his son Franklin.

McCain's denial that the visit has anything to do with politics is hilarious (and logic-defying):

"I think the Graham family really transcends politics in America. Billy Graham was an adviser to every president and so I'm not sure that there is any -- there certainly is no political aspect to the meeting that I will have."

McCain has been trying to convince Christian conservatives that he's one of them, and hanging out with the Grahams might help.

Plus McCain and Franklin Graham have a lot of mutual Middle Eastern war-lovin' to discuss. Franklin seemed to welcome the Iraq War as an expansion opportunity for his brand of evangelistic Christianity.

Senator McCain Writes Us a Letter

"Dear Friend,
The choice America will face in November is very clear"

...it begins. How clear? The Senator will leave no easy, knee-jerk stereotype unused: "liberal" vs. "conservative" are tossed around precisely 21 words into the letter.

And those prejudices are supposed to kick me into a generous mood? Senator McCain is asking ME for money, while ringing the Pavlovian bell of "liberal liberal liberal"? Either (1) his campaign is REALLY hurting or (2) his campaign is really inept, wasting postage on the likes of me. But we digress.

On page 2 of this 4-page screed (and why can't candidates for national office be succinct and waste less paper?) we wade into the deep weeds of manipulation:

"And I am running so that every person in this country, now and in generations to come, will know the same sublime honor that has been the treasure of my life: to be proud to be an American."

Senator, I know you somehow couldn't resist this cheap shot aimed at Michelle Obama, but one thing I've learned through adversity: my pride in being American is tied to our Constitution and to our history, not to the success or failure of any one pandering candidate for the presidency nor to any particular president. I was a proud American when Eisenhower was president; I was a proud American when Nixon was president, when Reagan was president, and when George W. Bush ascended the throne. My pride in being an American had nothing much to do with the personalities and policies of presidents with whom I disagreed fundamentally, nor with presidents I admired and supported neither. Apparently, I'm not supposed to be sublimely proud unless you, John McCain, get to the Oval Office.

The rest of the letter devolves into lies and threats, warnings of dire consequences in 2009. We quote directly:

Senator Obama will surrender to Al Qaeda
Senator Obama will increase the size of the federal government
Senator Obama will raise your taxes
Senator Obama will offer a big government solution to health care coverage
Senator Obama will appoint to the federal bench judges [who are LIBERALS]

And oh, by the way, "I am ready to deliver real reform and lasting change, not just slogans." Which is why I want to make sure you know that Obama is a weak, Muslim-loving, pussy LIBERAL!

Uh-huh.

Well, good luck with your campaign, Senator, and rest assured that insofar as I believe any of your pitch, my check is in the mail.

More Early-Voting Stations in Watauga

We hear that there will be a total of five early-voting polling stations in Watauga County come October 16, when North Carolinians can begin casting votes in the general election this fall.

We hear talk that there will be new early-voting stations at the Boone Mall, at the Western Watauga Community Center, and on the Appalachian State University campus, in addition to the two stations that have been used for several election cycles at the Agricultural Conference Center and in the Board of Elections office in the County Courthouse.

Closed Government Is Bad, No Matter Who's Slamming the Door

Open government in Raleigh? Not so much. Senate Majority Leader Tony Rand, a Fayetteville Democrat, barred an N&O reporter from a legislative meeting of budget negotiators from the NC Senate & House with Gov. Easley's chief budget advisor and others.

Rand's explanation for barring the reporter was weak. Lame. An embarrassment.

It's buffalo dust like this that gives the Democratic majority in Raleigh a bad reputation. Deservedly so.

Gifts Required

Madam Foxx's proud hubby has once again sent out a campaign fundraising e-mail masquerading as a "fun" way to wish the Madam a happy 65th birthday. Apparently, this stunt worked well enough when she turned 64 last year that we're treated to a repeat performance. There's a link to a birthday card that you can send the congresswoman, but that's not the key thing. Send money, writes Tom Foxx, to help us maintain the corporatist hegemony in America under the cover of "smaller government."

Mr. Foxx helpfully suggests, "If you can, I ask that you include a special contribution to help Virginia's campaign as a birthday gift -- perhaps $650, ten dollars for each year -- or even just $65."

There are ways of being creepy in modern America that can make you positively starry-eyed about American ingenuity, but political fundraising under color of familial devotion is about as gag-inducing as anything we've seen in, oh, 24 hours or since the last time the Foxx family indulged in it.