Friday, October 08, 2010

Looking for Sin in All the Wrong Places

Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Seminary, has surveyed the current landscape and come to the inescapable conclusion that the greatest danger to the mortal souls of his flock is ... wait for it ... yoga.

It took Mohler exactly three paragraphs in his essay to finger a principal culprit in spreading the popularity of yoga ... wait for it ... Michelle Obama. Yup. When you've got agents of Satan as supple as the Obamas, might as well use 'em!

Rev. Mohler: "...the growing acceptance of yoga points to the retreat of biblical Christianity in the culture. Yoga begins and ends with an understanding of the body that is, to say the very least, at odds with the Christian understanding."

Ah, the Southern Baptist understanding of the body! That's a topic that never took more than a single sentence when I was growing up: "Don't touch anything! You're going to hell if you do."

This silly attack on an exercise regimen is gonna rank right up there with a few other recent Southern Baptist initiatives, like the S.B. Convention's vote on June 12, 1996, to boycott Disney World because of employment policies recognizing gay partnerships for insurance coverage and the June 10, 1998, doctrinal mandate that "a wife is to submit herself graciously" to her husband.

That's the kind of "sin" that my church likes to fixate on. Not a word about the exploitation of people and the planet by the forces of greed.

8 comments:

shyster said...

Jerry, my daughter teaches yoga, am I required to stone her?

Anonymous said...

If she does not wear a burka and hide her body when she does it, yes according to the Koran.

shyster said...

Hell, I just want to stone her because she makes me come to her class from time to time and it hurts.

Anonymous said...

I've been doing yoga for a long time, and this is pure bullshit, coming from people who have never tried yoga themselves. My yoga teacher is 60 years old and can stand on her head and her hands & balance her entire body on the front of her arms. She is in excellent health. Compare that to some fat Baptist preacher who scarfs up as much food as he can get on his plate & will probably have two or three heart attacks before he dies and let Medicaid foot the bill for him. Yoga is just common sense. It keeps the body strong and flexible. It keeps you walking upright when you're 85. The most "chanting" we've ever done in any yoga class is a collective "Om" at the beginning of class (once), and most teachers don't even do that. it's an exercise class, plain and simple, and it greatly increase your self-discipline because it's like Shyster said--it's hard! You keep at it & start re-gaining the ability to do things you did when you were a kid, it builds up your self-confidence & makes you feel great! I think it's the absolute best thing you can do for your body to prepare it for old age.

Anonymous said...

Shyster,
The question is: may i get stoned with your daughter?

brotherdoc said...

Getting stoned and doing yoga was a great experience in the 70s....

Anonymous said...

But, only if you brought a rubber ducky.

Anonymous said...

Does your yoga teacher wear a burka and hide her body or is she in violation of thee Koran? What do Baptist preachers have to do with the Koran?