Thursday, October 18, 2007

The Noblesse Oblige of Madam Foxx

Madam Virginia Foxx, who won't speak to reporters at the Winston-Salem Journal, has nevertheless submitted an editorial for publication in that newspaper. It's a good thing when a U.S. representative won't take questions but gets to dictate her own content.

WHAT SHE SAID
I support extending the current children's health-care program.

WHAT SHE MEANT
Whatever. When I was a poor child, which was most of my life, I boiled pencil shavings for salve.

..................

WHAT SHE SAID
If Congress is going to push a program to socialize medicine for all Americans young and old, it should say so.

WHAT SHE MEANT
"Socialized medicine" is the new "liberal." Apply liberally.

..................

WHAT SHE SAID
But selling a program as children's health insurance and leaving the door open to adults is simply false advertising.

WHAT SHE MEANT
Keep all doors locked. Shoot stray dogs.

.................

WHAT SHE SAID
The bill merely requires a Social Security number as proof of citizenship. In light of the fact that many illegal immigrants use stolen Social Security numbers...

WHAT SHE MEANT
Stealing is soooo easy.

.................

WHAT SHE SAID
This is a cynical fiscal shell game.

WHAT SHE MEANT
I can also say "six thick thistlesticks" too, very rapidly.

.................

WHAT SHE SAID
But the House Democratic leadership has refused to compromise. Instead they've done their best to politicize an important issue.

WHAT SHE MEANT
Don't you just hate it when people get to the free food ahead of you!

No comments: