SOUTHERN BAPTISTS STILL LOOKING FOR PREZ WHO IS HOLIER THAN THOU

Mullah Richard Land of iPootValues fame and a major poobah in the Southern Baptist Convention has given an interview to "The Hill" in which he basically lays out a formula for not only losing the presidency to the Democrats in 2008 but losing it by a landslide.

Land is thumbs-down on Rudy Giuliani. Twice divorced, three times married, pro-choice, and gay-friendly. You've got to be kidding, right?

Land is thumbs-down on Johnny McCain, because McCain is insufficiently bloody-minded about women who have abortions. Plus McCain might appoint judges incapable of bringing the axe down on those who need to have the axe brought down on them ... in a severing of the head from the body kind of way. Like environmentalists. And uppity women. And gays.

Land is thumbs-down on Newt Gingrinch. Married too many times.

Land is surprisingly sweet on Mitt Romney, batting those big Bassett-hound eyes in the Mormon's general direction, thinking that rather than flip-flopping out of political expedience on abortion and gays, Romney's change of heart might signal he's getting Right with God. Well, he's certainly getting Right.

Land's real passion, though, is for Sam Brownback and Mike Huckaby, candidates so right-wing that only a landslide defeat in 2008 could adequately express the extremity of their desires for a theocratic America.